Then
As buds bloomed
As grass greened
As the horse and plow turned the soft dirt in neat rows
We wondered
We faced uncertainty and unknowing
We hoped for the best
but (attempted to) prepare for the worst.
We waited for the official diagnosis
And in our knowing without knowing
We knew the world was about to shift.
Grief began it’s slow work, poisoning everything
*
Last Year…
As trees greened
As bulbs flowered
As the horse and plow turned the soft dirt in neat rows
We waited
There were no more words to be said, only vigil to be held
We hoped for peace
But wrestled with ourselves (and each other) toward surrender
We waited for death to come
And in our knowing without knowing
We knew the world is about to shift (again)
Grief was doing it’s aching work, and we carry it with us in everything
*
And Now…
As seeds awaken
As days lengthen
As the horse and plow again turn soft dirt in neat rows
We remember
We are grateful for the time we had together
We treasure the sweet memories
And we carry the imprint of her love
We will continue to live
And in our knowing without knowing
We have shifted with the world, yet again
Grief is be doing it’s healing work and that changes everything